Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
