Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
