Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
