I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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