Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
