hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
