Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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