It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
