Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize