Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
