Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
