No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
