i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
