All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
