Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
