that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize