I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
