I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
party gras won. party gras always wins.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
