i will never coherently bang her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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