I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
