Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize