Swine flu. Run for my life!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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