hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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