OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
