you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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