me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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