i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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