There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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