Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
