Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
