the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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