she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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