she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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