wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
