the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
