He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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