i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
