chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
