Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
why is half of my head shaved?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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