I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
