He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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