Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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