Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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