love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
