she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
