I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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