YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Randomize
