I need help removing her.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
