NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He shit in the fireplace
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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