I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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