I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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