Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
