i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize