"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
