I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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