OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
