i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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