I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
