3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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