I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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