She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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