ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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