I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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