Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
