if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
