Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
