so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you traded sex for a burrito?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize