i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
