Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
whose parrot is this?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize