...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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