the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
