I heard we made out
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think i have herpe
just one?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
